Temporary TCKid Home

Sometimes I look back and realise I have lost perspective on life. At some time or other I have done things to protect myself like withdrawing which in turn has hurt people who care about me. I have seen bitterness in others who I care about which has meant that however well intentioned your actions, they believe the things you do are done to hurt them, so once again you find yourself fighting feelings of depression or a lack of self worth.

Whatever the circumstances of the past there comes a time when we are able to effectively stand back and at last and see the wood for the trees (see things for what they really are). Or it may be a feeling or knowing that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. Some of us come to that point when we realise that we are a TCK and suddenly a weight falls of our shoulders. Others its a gradual process.

The most important things that I have learned through all of this are that you can come through the most difficult of times a stronger person, that you can find things in common with those that are not TCKs, that you can feel at home, that it is vital that we believe that there are good things in the future for us. We can get over and through issues that have held us back.

We sometimes need the support of others to remind us of these things. We may believe them to a point but there will be times when we need the reassurance of others that we can get through, especially when we are in the middle of dealing with them. We all need the strength of others around us. Trying to cope with them on our own at times will be too much for us.

I think that if we were to make a new years resolution it should be to encourage other TCKs this year. You will more than likely find like I have, that by doing so, they will be there for you when you feel discouraged! Lets strive to help each other this year, and in doing so, help ourselves!

Being a TCK can have it’s moments. Probably one of the more difficult areas to deal with are the taboo words and gestures used in various countries. The word thongs can mean flip flops, or ladies underwear depending where you are from. Pointing an outstretched hand at someone can be a curse, shaking a fist can say that someone is strong or that you are angry with them. You may even know what would be considered to be rude or swearwords in a number of languages… I know I do. Case in point is the youtube clip of 12 months being spoken in Ukranian. Just saying something in one language can sound like something else in another. I remember a French girl laughing constantly at the thought that the french word “pain” did not mean bread in English.

Just speaking with a foreign accent can get you into trouble. I have been laughed at so many times over the years either for asking what something meant or not knowing what people are talking about.
If you are going to reply to this post. Please be consider others in what you put down. If you relate, keep it clean.

My good freind Rachel is so funny, she wants to know where I haven’t lived.

During my years as an outcast within my own country, I’ve had a lot of time to think about this. For me, geography is always a landscape of the heart. And mine needs to get a lot bigger. It’s not about choices or “luck”. It really is about “need”. I “need” to do this before I die so I can feel finally, as if I’ve truly “lived”.

So here is my list of fascinating places I want to see, live in and make friends with before I die. They are in no particular order, except that I am guessing the ones that come to mind first, are heaviest on my mind. My mono-American friends don’t seem to realize that, if you had an airplane, you could theoretically go east or west, FOREVER. I know you guys get this so I will just head west, because that coast is closer.

You must have a passport and be at least 48 inches tall to go on this ride by yourself. Otherwise, you will need faithful companions.
But first, we’ll fuel up in Ethiopia. THEN, we’ll take off from L. A. It only makes sense if you’re a TCK.

Japan
Korea
Nepal
Singapore
Cambodia
Mongolia
India
Australia (must have turned left somewhere)
New Zealand
Iran (wait – I’ve already lived there…but I so want to go back!!!)
Morocco (It was either Rhabhat or Germany and my mom said she would divorce my dad if we didn’t go to Germany. )
South Africa (Okay, I just turned left.)
Botswana (oops…u-turn then a sharp left)
Argentina (did you know that the ultimate hottie TCK grew up there? Viggo Mortensen. Swoon!)
Brasil
Chile
Peru (oops —going in circles!)
Costa Rica
Canada (oooh, talk about opposites attract!)
Siberia (wait , have we made a complete revolution already??? So many places we missed the first time around…Let’s take this ride again!)

Serbia
Hungary
Romania (yep…been here before..I remember now! Have to go find my nanna, Gica)
Greece
Israel
Egypt
…..

Antarctica….my church actually has a church there. The Russians built it so I would feel right at home. But I’m not Russian either. 🙂
Where haven’t you lived, and want to, before you die?

Another thing I’m wondering: In Nevada, the legal requirement for residency at an address is 7 consecutive days. If you have lived there for 7 days, the landlord has a terrible time throwing you out. If you live in the state of Nevada for six consecutive months, you are considered a resident of the state.

how long do you have to actually live in a place, before you are considered resident? For me, it’s about 7 days. 😛

I am a quirky soul in your eyes
You don’t know how to classify me
Your classifications are right
Your classifications are wrong

You say that I’m an American
I do act and think like an American sometimes
Many of my friends are Americans
Americans with an Asian skin tones
But you don’t know that I don’t care about
American TV shows and dramas at all
You don’t know that even non-Americans know better
than me about certain American culture
The mainstream American culture with Lady Gaga on it
You don’t know my sourness toward mono Americans
You don’t know that I’m not and never will be
patriotic for the U.S.
You don’t know how I feel out of this place

You say that my looks, documents, and birthplace justify that I’m Korean
I do feel Korean and love Korea, but I feel like a foreigner too
My Korean tongue will scream out that my Korean got rusty
I know a lot about Korean history and culture too
I am one who laughs hard at Korean TV shows
I only have 3 years of clear memories about Korea
I don’t know what to expect if I go there
Excitement? Joy? Nostalgia? Fear?
Korea is home and motherland
Korea is the country of myth

You say that I have an accent
What do you mean by an accent?
Korean? American? hybrid?

You say that I sound like a Korean-American
Wrong! I came to the U.S. when I was 14

You say that I have a strong accent
Wrong! It’s not strong as Koreans living in Korea
I’ve been speaking your language since I was 8

Even I don’t know what exactly is my accent is
So don’t dare to judge me by an accent

You deny the expat kid part of me in my life
You forget that I learned English in an International School
You forget that I made friends from different nationalities there
You will never understand that it’s a root of my identity

I’m just a person from different countries and cultures
I am ME!

He wasn’t a TCK or even a CCK. But I think all of us can relate to this man’s marginalization by society. Most of us TCK’s have a tendency to want to “give back”, to “volunteer”, to “serve” humanity and the world in various ways. And most of us have felt marginalized, outcast, and shunned by our peers. Well, we haven’t been where this man has been, perhaps, but maybe we can all celebrate his own “terminal uniqueness syndrome” in our hearts, and strive to be more understanding and more accepting than ever, after reading his story.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/27/us/27peek.html?pagewanted=1

As for myself, I am not a little “touched”. I am inspired by this man. I am always for the “little guy” and for the nominalized and marginalized of any society. “Rain Man” was all of this and more. They said he should be lobotomized when he was 6 years old! Thank God his parents ignored their “advice”. And perhaps, just perhaps, “Rain Man” is the greatest of us all, no matter how impressive we may think we are, or how “accomplished” we may seem.

Resquiat in pace, Rain Man. I think that right now you must be in heaven among “sparkly” things.

by JRR Tolkien

Thanks to Bilbo, Frodo was very much a “global nomad”. And thanks to him and the Fellowship, (also made up of global nomads), all of Middle Earth was saved.

Turn on your speakers and open a new tab:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtFwHrMfDpQ

Roads Go Ever On – Tolkien

Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains of the moon.

Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

(Not included in the video:
Roads go ever ever on
To the lands beyond the sea
On a white ship will I sail
Watching shadows aren’t for me

Leaving havens grey with rain
Now that years have slipped away
Leaving friends with gentle pain
As they start another day.

Roads I traveled I must leave
For I ‘ve turned the final bend
Weep not empty tears but grieve
As the road comes to an end

It’s so easy not to try
Let the world go driftying by
If you never say hello
You won’t have to say good bye.)

(c) 1977 Performed by Glenn Yarborough, Lyrics by Jules Bass, Music by Maury Laws.

It’s true and I am finally ready to confess it to the world. I’ve always known this. And I’ve told my daughter this. Few people believe me, even the conspiracy theorists refuse to acknowledge this simple fact. (I would have thought they would have been all over it, but no, they scorn me like everyone else.)

I have denied many other things involving JFK, the Roswell Incident, and a host of other important issues, but this one is something I refuse to cover up any longer. The Boyz at Langley be damned, I will not help them decieve the world any longer. Santa Claus has had many CIA operatives on the payroll for YEARS. Decades! And I’m no longer willing to lie about it.

The truth is: Santa Claus has sources in every intelligence network around the world. Yeah. He uses spies. This is how he knows if you’ve been “naughty or nice.” I know because I have spoken with Santa myself, through ham radio all the way from the jungles of Liberia, Africa to the North Pole, and also from Behshahr, Iran. There are no telephones there, but Santa has a ham radio that he uses for back up when the freezing temperature disables his phone lines. These days he also utilizes internet, and cell phones. His grasp of modern technology is astounding. He can even trace your IP address down to your physical address and visit you! He does this through his own extensive, intelligence network. It’s called North Pole Intelligence Service. They have hundreds of thousands of operatives in every country around the globe.

He knew my name as soon as he heard my voice! And he knew all about me! He knew where I lived, all the stuff in my room. He even knew I had lied to my mom about touching a dead snake but he said it was okay. He made sure the elves would bring along some anti-venin to sprinkle around my room just in case. And he told me never to lie to my mother again. And I didn’t.

Santa also has friends in the missionary fields. I know this because I helped him and his elves once, unload an entire plane load of Christmas presents for the local kids. They were so excited! And he even spoke their language, and it was so amazing how he can change skin color like that. He went from pink to brown in one year! He must have been visiting his other friends in Majorca, or Ibizia and spent lots of time on the beach. Maybe Gibraltar, because he once told me he thought Gibraltar was the ideal place to retire. Around the other kids, even those who were older than I, it was easy for me to be oh, so cavalier about it. “Of course, I’ve met him before…..we talk all the time…” People who think kids aren’t capable of “name dropping” have never been in diplomatic circles.

Have you met Santa? Does he have sources in your organization? I suspect his network is rather large, and that he probably relies on journalists, teachers, corporate global nomads, researchers, and IT professionals also. They seem like prime recruits for Santa’s modern intelligence gathering projects. If you have been approached by the North Pole Intelligence Service, and recruited as a spy, we at TCKidNews want to know about it. Contact us through the comment form.

To all my friends, and fellow travelers around the globe, I wish you a very blessed MERRY CHRISTMAS, a Happy New Year, and peace on earth, goodwill toward men, women and all children, both tall and small.

I hope the ever present “Nobody” (the boyz at Langley) back east doesn’t get all excited about this blog entry and send out the “ground troops”. For me, “HQ” is my parents house, and my identity is none of their business.

I have really been enjoying the exploration of my TCK experience, through blogging. It has really relieved many pressures, and has been very healing for me. Not only is all my “chronic pain” suddenly and mysteriously “gone” but I feel much better in general and I have really enjoyed corresponding with many wonderful people, who share my TCK experience, in some way, and who are genuinely interested in it.

It is doubly wonderful, and an added blessing that for Christmas this year, I got the best Christmas present, ever: my identity. It is such a relief to know all this and to finally let go of the need to keep all these secrets, and toxic feelings bottled up inside.

My good friend Sara asked me by email: “….I’m curious, having moved around so much, how did your family celebrate Christmas? Were there some things you did the same every year? Or did you just go with whatever celebrations were (or weren’t) going on in whatever country you were in?”

Yes, Sara…there IS a Santa Claus. Mary, a wonderful lady in Marrakesh, wrote about how expatriate children believe in Santa much longer than their countrybound counterparts. You can see her excellent article here.

http://expat21.wordpress.com/2009/12/20/expat-kids-believe-in-santa-far-longer-than-kids-back-home/

I believed in Santa until I was 12. And one of my nicer secrets is, I still do!

Here are some other funny things about Christmas at “CIA HQ”:

1. We always have Pillsbury Orange Cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning. This started in the 70’s when we had all our groceries flown in by helicopter to Behshahr, and they just showed up in the food bags. We didn’t have a “px” or access to food stores so our groceries were delivered by helicopter every 2 weeks. Anyway, somehow they ended up in the order. My mom did not order them. We fell in love with them and have been gobbling them every year, since.

2. We are allowed to open one present on Christmas Eve. This is to prevent curious little minds from being so restless that they can’t sleep. It never worked but we did it anyway.

3. Every year, we pull out all the Christmas decorations and wave my older brother’s diapers around the room. (They’re clean!) This is what our Christmas ornaments have been wrapped in for all of my 43 years. No wonder my brother doesn’ t come over for Christmas anymore.

4. For dinner on Christmas Eve: we have Standard Dinner #1 with guests: Fondue (Beef/filet mignon), re-stuffed potatoes, asparagus or green beans, Ceasar salad.

5. On Christmas Day: We have Standard Dinner #2 , just family: Ham with cherry glazing, spoonbread, par-boiled potatoes with parsley/time/rosemary, and Greek cucumber salad. This started in the 70’s also when we got stuck in a Mediterranean country during an “uprising”. This was what the hotel staff served us, because it was all they could manage what with all the shooting and looting going on. They were trying to give us “Virginia ham” because we were American and they had a copy of Julia Child’s cookbook. We have never forgotten their kindness. And all was well – my brother and I were greatly entertained by “watching the war” through the barred basement windows. 😉

6. Since we have really absorbed our love of good food, wine and conversation from our many European travels, and friends from other countries, we are always accused by local Americans of “drinking too much, eating too much, and talking too much”. This is very standard in my family. If someone isn’t tipsy when they leave, well this is because they are either tee-totallers, or just stuck up. It’s fine and dandy with us if others don’t want to drink any wine. We will graciously never say a word, or pressure them, and they will always be offered at least 6-10 alternatives. No one is judged. But we refuse to let anyone make us feel guilty for our enjoyment and merriment. It’s CHRISTMAS!!! Also, my parents do not smoke, but guests are always provided with cigarettes so that no one runs out during a party and thinks they have to “drive to get some”. No one gets behind the wheel of a car for any reason if they have been drinking. This is being a good host/hostess.

7. The rule in our house has always been, “When in Rome….” We are always happy to blend in with our neighbors and what they want to do for Christmas. But here in America, this is a very individual thing and considered “private”. So unless we are in another country, at Christmas, we do as the Americans do and “mind our own business.” Sad but true, that this is now a “tradition”. But we always have an empty place setting for anyone who happens to “stop by”. And it’s funny: it happens every year. At least one person, and sometimes as many as 2 or 3 show up. And they know they are always welcome. And they are usually (gasp) foriegners! 🙂 I love seeing the suspicious looks from my neighbors. They know there’s somethin’ funny goin’ on over at the Neeley house….”….there’s always a bunch of FOREIGNERS in and out, in and out…ain’t natural, ya know???….”

Hey TCKs. I found another article about traveling. This one is more US-centric but that doesn’t matter. It could all help us in the long run:

http://www.bing.com/travel/content/search?q=Worst+Case+Scenario:+How+to+Deal+With+Travel+Disasters&fc_idx=1

Hey all TCKs! Here’s a rather useful article from the NY Times regarding damaged bags!! Read the comments as well!

http://bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/21/how-to-deal-when-a-damaged-bag-greets-you-at-baggage-claim/