I only every write here when I am sad

Posted: 30th May 2011 by admin in Uncategorized

and most of the times it’s at stupid hours of the morning.  In this case 3am.  Panic is setting in.  I’ve had two wonderful years at university, met so many fantastic people who have been so good to me.  Including my boyfriend (of 14 months), and I’ve had the best two years of my life but it’s all being up rooted again.  My plans for my year abroad in Montpellier are in full swing and it’s giving me such anxieties.  Having to find storage for my things in Cardiff is upsetting and realizing that I will be living in an apartment on my own in France is equally killing me.

 

I know the year abroad is going to be worth it and that I will have the best experience of my life, but I’m so sick of being a nomad again after these two great years, just when I felt I got my feet to stand still and settle it’s off again.

 

I don’t think it’s ever going to stop, the traveling and the constant need to be somewhere else but never being totally and utterly happy in one place.  I’ve seen so many places and met so many fantastic people and it looks like I’ve led a charmed life, but it’s cost me a lot of my personal happiness and identity. I don’t want it to sound like a sob story but it is just so so difficult to make sense of everything.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hey Rachel! I just saw this message.  We are still here in Taipei (staying in the Shida area), but we have a pretty full schedule today.  We will be near Taipei 101 tonight for dinner, if you are still interested in meeting up.  Our local mobile number is +886976421432.  Please feel free to send us a text or a call!

  2. Anonymous says:

    The year aboard IS indeed the best year of one’s life and I know it from my experience. 

    Well if that’s a sob story…then everyone’s life is sob story.  I’m not really a religious person, but as I get older and meet more people, I started to believe that God is generally fair and no one is perfect (um…yes, once in a while there is but let’s just say).  We get wonderful international experience, but in return we are having hard time settling down.  Likewise everyone’s life has one or two shortcomings.  How we deal with that shortcoming makes the difference.  And life itself doesn’t make sense, anyway – if life makes perfect sense, there would be no religion, no god, no fortune tellers, no ancient relics, no anything :)