Life was a continuous struggle of finding a ‘place of peace’ where I did not have to feel sorry about myself. If there is anything remarkable about my life so far, let it be my cross-cultural experiences between China, Japan and Australia; but it is only recent that I genuinely become aware of its significance. Until then, I felt sorry about myself for not being able to convince everyone, including myself, who I was and where I came from.
Luckily in 2010, the construction of ‘place of peace’ reached at an unprecedented turnabout. Against all odds, it was underpinned by a word as short as three letters, and it was TCK. The rewards of learning about TCK exceed more than just identifying myself with its definition, since I have never dreamed about having a period (.) at the end of whatever defines who I am. It was liberating.
I used to wince every time I was asked, “Where are you from?†since I never felt my identity was owned by a physical place. I could provide facts, as many and accurate as I can remember, but unfortunately, facts would never set me free. Passport, country of birth, language etc… Neither single nor sum of these facts is adequate enough to frame myself. Besides, anyone can brandish and use the facts against me. Some people used to accuse me of not being truthful to what they thought who I was. The more facts I owned, the further I was fragmented; emotional harakiri!
However, now I know, there are both word and the world that validates my experiences. It also reminds me of how much I have, even after integrating it with shame, failure and bitterness.
I love talking about where I am from, every time I talk, I feel like I am set free.
Thank you for sharing this! It was very inspiring and I have referred back to your story several times to help me describe the struggles and strengths of an TCK!