Parents are weird. I think its safe to say that’s a fairly universal truth, yes?
But not many of my non-TCK friends have the issue of actually fighting with a parent over whether or not the kid is ‘patriotic’ enough.
Dad, I’ve lived in 8 different places. And that is mostly YOUR fault, too, while we’re on the topic. Which one, exactly, am I supposed to have this undying loyalty towards? That’s like civilians asking me where ‘home’ is.
“So, where’s home for you?”
“I live here.”
“Yes, I know, but where’s home?”
“I was born in (blank).”
“That’s very interesting, but where is home? You know, HOME.”
Yes, because saying a word louder and slower, with emphasis, is really going to make me understand you better. Nope, you’re still strange and asking awkward questions. Stop. Stop that. NOW.
My parents aren’t even from the same place, so its like living through an election year with one parent who is Republican, and the other is a Democrat. (which is, coincidentally, also the case in my family)
I love my parents, though, and I have to give them credit for making it work. 25 years together, and they are still cutesy enough to make me sick. But they also made a point of making it work, too. Whenever my dad was deployed, he’d hide notes and presents around the house, for my mom to come across by accident. He’d write out a stack of cheesy cards, and have me order flowers for my mom and attach one of the cards. I am convinced he paid some of the other deployed people for their phone privileges, because none of the other military spouses got so many phone calls as my mum.
My dad has even started training my brother in how to make romantic gestures towards his (my brother’s) girlfriends. One summer, due to scheduling, my parents kept leaving the country, always missing seeing each other by only a few hours. This happened four times in a row. Each time, my dad would leave a surprise for my mum, to be discovered when she got home. She would do the same when she left. The first time he did this, my dad told my brother, “Now, son. Pay attention. You must always let your woman know when you miss her. They need to know this stuff.” When I told my mom all of this, she blushed like a teenager.
Ok, first of all, GAG.
Secondly, does this stuff actually work? Relationships are HARD. Maybe I’m biased, but it seems so much harder for TCKs.
I see people like my roommate who can barely go a weekend without seeing her boyfriend, and I just scratch my head at the idea of needing, and she truly does desperately need, that closeness, all the time. She’d be that person to turn down a free trip, even a short one, just because her boy couldn’t go. The poor lad is totally smitten with her too, and has decided to change careers because she can not handle the current one, which is only, you know, his dream job.
I do not know how I got on this topic…
Parents AND relationships in the same post. Gross.
I’m done.
A biscuit for having actually read all the way to the end. Nom nom.
So… have you come across any new bits of understanding since you wrote this?