Temporary TCKid Home

Resettling in Belgium was a conscious  decision. We decided that the kids, my partner and myself should to return back to Belgium after living abroad for 12 years. Now I am back with doubts wheather this was the right decision.

Suddenly, I notice that I am referring back to the good times when we where still living that expat life. I notice that I selectively  forget the  challenges  expats have to deal with.  The  grass is always greener on the other side or in the last country you lived in. Looking more closely at this feeling, I realise that I will need to make an effort to continue to stand behind my desicion by making our lives in our ‘home’country more comfortable. How can I make make my ‘home’ country feel like home again?  1/3 Of my life I lived outside my home country; my  children lived 11 years abroad and only live here for one year.  

We will need to rediscover our home country but not only that, we will need to rediscover parts of ourselves we forgot about. 

Do you have that craving to do or learn something new regularly? Well I do! Does it have anything to do with growing up as a TCK?

Read my blog on Time for something new….

A Third Culture Kid Life article that discusses the way TCKs are viewed by FCKs, and how we are handled by others. To view the article, click here to go to TCK Life.

So excited to hear Ruth van Reken speak several times this weekend.

Read more about the conference here. I have never heard so much about TCKs and met so many people who are interested in TCKs in one weekend. I need some time to digest all the information.

Ruth van Reken at Euro TCK in Germany April 2013

I wrote a post about loneliness 3 years ago.  And since then I do not believe I remember feeling it again.  I have since married, started a new job and am currently in the process of buying a house.

It’s interesting where life takes you.  Even to this day I do not know where it is taking me.  I turn to this site time and time again when I feel the need to re-energize myself as a TCK.  I think the sense of “loss” and “loneliness” will always be there but it’s a matter of how I deal with it.

I have a soulmate now and I would not have things any different.  I share with him everything.  He’s pretty much my stay-in best friend LOL  And the only “friend” I can call while I am here in Connecticut.  Someone who can understand me and not ask me questions of who I am.  I see him as this “rock” that holds me in place as my mind continues to wander to faraway land.  I have to say I am starting to grow a sense of fear in being lonely, in going to a new place and just feeling like nobody else understands you.  

I’ve been travelling all my life and sometimes I do get tired.  I just want to sit and relax and just enjoy life.  And yet, there people around me that haven’t travelled that much and get excited about going to a new place.

I would love to again move somewhere new and live there but this time I won’t go it alone – I will have my soulmate with me.

I think it’s innate in TCKs that we want to share our experiences but it’s hard to find that person to share it with.  I’ve travelled by myself once and I vow to never do it again – it’s too lonely.

My next trip is my honeymoon in London and I can’t wait.  

I noticed that I seem to post one blog post a year here in tckid. 2011, 2012, and this will be my 2013 post. God, time flies! I seem to also only check-in once a year. But it’s great because when I read my previous posts I can compare it from where I was before to where I am now. How is my life different? Do I still share the same sentiments? Same problems? Have I moved on? Am I better off today than before?

It’s been 3 years since I moved here in Canada from U.S. and 6 years now since Philippines and 10+ years since Brunei. After all these experiences, I feel so strong today, now more than ever. I’ve never embraced my ‘lonely traveler’ persona more than ever. All the confusion I have had about where I live, where I’m supposed to be, etc., seems to have diminished. I just know myself better now and what I want. I’m quite particular now, not so eager, and I just have that calmness about me, that sometimes freaks me out a little. I guess when you’ve experienced so much, it takes a lot to surprise you.  You also learn to just let go and let life take you. You find it’s easier when you don’t try and stop fighting so much.  That I believe is a definition of maturity. There’s a fine line between challenging yourself and desiring your end goal when the results are always 50/50. Take your chances, pick your battles..

Though I love my life in Canada, I am still open to the option that I may go back to Philippines as that is where my family is. And it’s hard to ignore the fact that we have a very lucrative family beach resort business in such a beautiful island. Family + living a beach life doesn’t seem so bad at all. 

I’m ready to settle here in Vancouver, move to a nicer place, get in the core of downtown Vancouver, get a new car, just ease on in to this gorgeous city, starting to build my dream tech company with a great business partner and friend, have a few great selected friends, a great job, and everything else in between. Mind you, I do count my blessings.

I’m going to Philippines to visit my family, live the beach life for 22 days this coming May-June. What will come of it? A couple of years ago, when I asked my ‘ex’ girlfriend, to be my girlfriend, she said, she’ll say yes, after I come back from my visit to Philippines back in 2010.  I visited for 6 weeks. She had doubts, very strong doubts that I would come back. This time around, my business partner, thinks the same. He’s betting that I will also stay in the Philippines, when I visit there this coming May. I can’t really blame them both – family is where the heart is.

I feel like my ATCK upbringing is too strong – I feel like I’ll come back to Vancouver and live my life here as I enjoy my freedom and my ability to have my own adventure.  Knowing the fact, that I don’t know where I’ll be in a couple of years, still in Vancouver or somewhere else. I guess there’s always a catch, right.  In this case, adventure & the lonely traveler versus having my family around. People say, at the end we always end up back to our family. Whenever I think about this, I always think about the title of the album of one of my favorite bands, Sterophonics entitled, “You gotta go there to come back.”

Check this guestblog “An Ode to the Third Culture Kids”

Check my latest blog post:

Want to Know How to Prepare Third Culture Kid Teens for Adulthood?

Does anyone else get accused of lying a lot?

I don’t know why…

Just the other day, someone asked me where I got my earrings.

THEY ASKED.

I told them.

Yes. It DID involved a swamp festival in a bayou in the middle of no-where Louisiana (USA) where no one spoke English, but Cajun French. Yes there was a lot of alcohol involved.

That doesn’t mean that it isn’t the truth.

The way she reacted, you’d have thought that I said I wrestled a 12-foot alligator while drinking a shot of whiskey, and flirting with a sexy Cajun man. And that I was wearing a mini skirt and heels, with perfect hair/makeup. All at the same time.

I am sorry that my life is so different from yours that you just give THAT look and say:

“You sure do have a lot of STORIES.”

Sheesh.

Just tattoo LIAR on my forehead and be done with it.

Tell me how you REALLY feel.

Go on.