Posted: 6th May 2010 by admin in Uncategorized

I never asked to be a Third Culture Kid. But somehow, life puts us through these circumstances and opens our eyes to worlds beyond the one that we are familiar with. Knowing more of this world, is it really that easy to accept a smaller role in life? I can’t imagine myself in some sort of career or one corner of the world not taking any active role in affecting the world for the better, nor can I settle for something small.

I dream of big things, whether it is being in the United Nations or high-ranking in a multi-national business or some sort of philanthropic organization. I dream of being educated well and being around or bringing together like-minded and experienced people. I dream of knowing that because I was born into strange circumstances, the advantage we have as TCKs is that we know more about the world beyond our arm’s length than the average person does, and can get ahead of them for that reason.

So imagine how I feel right now in my circumstances: homeless, jobless, penniless; without a family, without any stability, and recently betrayed by many so-called “friends” who dismissed me as a sociopath for blaming others for their inability to understand my different perspective and attitude towards life.

I have a bachelor’s degree from UCLA and all my family ever did before I lost them was tell me how I wasn’t valedictorian or how I didn’t have a useful subject for my degree, and that what I plan on studying for my master’s (East Asian Studies) is useless.

Very soon I will have no money or a place to go, and not much of a plan due to major unexpected changes in my life. Accessing the Internet from someone’s couch on their wireless, or living in a cardboard box in an alley; walking around feeling unworthy, maybe this situation will get better or worse. The nagging thought remaining in my head is this: with all that I could have been because of the idea I had about how unique and fortunate we TCKs are, I can’t help but feel worse about myself when I see how I have no direction or stability compared to the other TCKs I see.

One person says “at least you are used to uncertainty and transition as a TCK” but to lose everything I’ve mentioned in the span of a couple months just isn’t what being reluctantly dragged around the world prepares me for. Very different set of circumstances.

I guess I just feel hopeless now, especially seeing how great other TCKs can turn out to be, and look at myself as having no stability, no home, not many friends left to trust, no meaningful job, and completely broken. This is my life at 26, going on 27 years of utter failure.

  1. Anonymous says:


    I read your post and I’m very scared of what you wrote… although you don’t know me and I’m on the other side of the world (UK), please do listen to what I have to say.

    The despair you are experiencing must be extreme… I too am going through an extreme despair albeit of a different kind, which is why I haven’t been posting much lately… I’ll email you privately about it.

    Still we need to do something about it; the journey will be long, but we have to start from somewhere, and then build from there. Get in touch with any relative you have: do you have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins? Perhaps one of your parent’s friends may temporarily provide for help? I’m catholic and I know that catholic churches help people in need; try a church near-by and explain your situation… I think in Los Angeles there is a cathedral so you may try there as well. They may provide for temporary shelter, which is a starting point. Do find also a job: it will not be right-away the job you wanted, but it will be a starting point; given your education and technology knowledge I believe you may find an office job already.

    I’ll try to be online in the coming days: I wish I could do more. There are many good people around the forum, who will be able to help more.