Just what is “Normal”

Posted: 11th May 2010 by admin in Uncategorized

Having had to deal with issues of rejection, misunderstanding and alienation over the years I have had time to think over the events of my life and draw some conclusions. I put them here for you to consider and disagree or agree with

From my observations people in different cultures have different definitions of what “normal” means. If you do not fit into the image of what a culture sees as normal then people automatically look for an appropriate image to fit you to. Its a bit like westerners saying that all Asians look alike, when in fact we know that is not true and the definition of what it means to be Asian is also suspect.

Unfortunately the more removed you are from a culture’s viewpoint of what “normal” is, the more confused people are and the more likely they are to put an inappropriate image to you. Somehow there is the need to categorise and tidy other people’s perceptions of you and so the message comes across “you don’t fit into my mental categories therefore you are weird and I am reluctant to get to know you on a deep level”. So no wonder TCKs get used to shallow relationships with non TCKs, no wonder they feel different as everyone else is treating them different.
Where a TCK feels at home is where people have an image or a category that they fit into. Fellow TCK’s know and understand and have that category, as do many expats, refugees, foreigners to a country etc… In their mind you fit snugly and it is easy for them to share their deeper experiences with you. In their mind there is a category that says “a TCK is normal as that is the category I have for them in my mind”
TCKs are normal for those who have a space for them in their mind.Yet for many TCKs, they find non TCKs are not “normal” as their understanding of what normal is, is to be a TCK. They have a category for non TCKs, but it is shaped by rejection and being misunderstood and therefore fits in the “abnormal”. Yes they have a picture but it has become prejudiced by rejection and misunderstanding of non TCKs, and the lack of understanding and the inability for a non tck to categorise a TCK as being in the “normal” category.
  1. Anonymous says:

    After reading the news that this year’s American census marked a new “trend” in its result, your reading came across even more interesting. Apparently there is a big increase in American population who would check three or more races.

    The “Americanness,” as you mentioned, is both advantage and disadvantage. During my first 3 years or so in States, I was surprised how the local news does not have any international news – especially because it was THE US, (probably) the most influential country at the moment. Now in Korea, which is an Asian country smaller than Lake Michigan, almost all news programs had international news.

    The last sentence is pretty sad. Because nowadays things really don’t matter within those borders.