The Russian Spy Kids are YOUR kids…

Posted: 1st July 2010 by admin in Uncategorized

So, the whole world is abuzz about the Russian spies and their kids, and their
2.5 dogs and station wagons, along with blandly decorated houses in the
suburbs. I predict several things:

1. All these individuals will be tried and convicted. They will also serve out their full sentences.

2. Their children will disappear. In fact, they already have. None of the children have been seen since they were picked up by FBI
agents on Monday afternoon.

3. All assets will be seized and their computers and homes searched. Friends, co-workers and acquaintances should prepare
themselves for a new, ongoing and long-term relationship. With the FBI.

4. After serving their sentences, all these individuals will apply to the US, Great Britain, France and Germany for political asylum. The
future of failed, returnee Russian agents is pretty grim.

5. All the children at some point, will be returned to Russia in the interests of “cultural sensitivity” and “adoption” among various
Russian “relatives”. This will prove to the world that the US is
“concerned” about the “future” of these children and that Russia is a
loving “motherland”. In actuality, these children will be carefully
groomed by their Russian handlers for their future careers in
intelligence work. And the FBI, CIA agents (as well as all available
MI5, Mossad, and Securite agents) who are assigned to track their
movements will dutifully record their grades in school, and their
psychological quirks, for use later on.

5.a: These kids will be questioned, however gently and kindly, before they are released to Russian
“authorities”. They know nothing. But a few of them may know things
they don’t know they know. Which is the point.

6. Putin and Obama will continue to play golf and Putin will most likely offer to tutor Obama in judo. In between tiger hunts and photo
ops, Obama will eventually meet various Russian Orthodox Church leaders
for “tea”.

7. Anna Chapman will be deluged with offers of marriage and a book deal before she is out of prison. When she is released, she will write
her book from the comparative distance of a Caribbean island and have
all royalties deposited in an off-shore account. Eventually, she will
marry a Russian mob boss. For convenience. She will die young,
probably before she is 40, and will lamented in the history books as a
“tragic figure”. Those who are less attractive will go on to lead
laboriously dull lives in obscurity.

In the end, I will think what I have always thought:

a) The CIA of pre-9/11 days, was right. The Cold War has never been “over”. It will never be over for the Russians.

b) ROCOR was right. They should never have reunited with Moscow.

c) Capt. Jack Sparrow was right: “The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers.”

d) My dad was right: Keep your head down, keep a low-profile and remember that loyalty, above all things determines the quality of a
person’s life.

In the end, I find nothing funny about this situation. I find it tragically sad, tragically familiar, and tragically necessary. God
have mercy on us all.

From the comments on my personal blog at

From “cerebrus”:

You being what it is like in real world, whoa. While watching the Spooks
(massive hit British drama and MI5 espionage), I kinda suspected that
many of their episodes can be true. Well, looks like it. It feels
strange while many of us are enjoying peaceful daily life, totally
unaware of all that intelligence action, there are a lot going on
underneath the water. Once in a while there is news on North Korean spy
caputured in here, but I bet there are a ton of South Korean
spies/intelligence officers in action in Pyoungyang.

J — You are absolutely right. There are also a ton of S. Korean agents in
every industrialized country in the world, especially Japan and the US.
And we, the Americans, do the same in every single country around the
globe. Russia is not “the bad guy” here. In this game, there are no
real winners and losers. (Even on “my side”, we understand that these
people were simply doing their jobs.)

It’s all about winning a total war; individual “battles” be damned. The Israeli Mossad motto speaks volumes , and is perhaps the most
honest: “By deception, shalt thou wage war.” More accurately: “For by
wise counsel thou shalt wage thy war”. ( In Hebrew: בתחבולות תעשה לך
מלחמה )

The new motto, is from the Old Testament
be-’éyn tachbūlōt yippol `ām; ū-teshū`āh be-rov yō’éts (Hebrew:
באין תחבולות יפול עם, ותשועה ברוב יועץ‎
“Where no counsel is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11, 14)

Every country, every nation is literally “at war” even when they seem at peace. This is the reality of a fractured globe in which
nationalism and “pride” play their deceptive parts. I believe, truly,
that although we can make strides in cultural exchange on an individual
and even group level, we can never truly know “world peace” until and
IF (a very big IF), people can put aside their nationalism.

Although I am a TCK, and a true global nomad, I am afraid that at bottom, I am still defined, loyalistically, by my passport. I am an
American. Whether America claims me or not, I am loyal to that
definition. And I am afraid that I cannot find it in my heart to
forgive America’s traitors. I leave such higher and more holy tasks to
God. In the end, all of us TCK’s will be forced to choose where to
place our loyalties. Mine was firmly placed on 9/11. As were my French
friends, and my British friends, and my Korean friends….on that, we all
agree. In the end, I’m not sure that even TCK’s and Global Nomads will
agree on everything.

The “beauty” of espionage, if there ever is one, is that it is at once, NOT personal, and also at the same time, deeply personal. It is a
question of duty, honor and loyalty. And these concepts are the same in
any language, in any culture. We all believe that what we are doing is
right, good and proper. Only God can judge us. Only history will tell.

Here are the mottos of world intelligence agencies:

USA: CIA: “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” (John 8:32)
and this is beautiful from:
Korea National Intelligence Service:
….we bear in mind that our mandate is derived from the love and trust
of the Korean people, and solemnly pledge that armed with firm
patriotism and sense of mission, we will firmly protect our free
democratic system, lay a cornerstone for reunification, and become a
proud security force which puts our nation and its people before

MI5: “Defend the Realm”

Bundesnachrichtendienst (German Intelligence – Federal Republic) Opponent of all enemies and protector of everything German.

French Intel : E Tenebris Lux Latin “Out of the Darkness, Light

If you are a TCK from an intelligence service, add your thoughts in the comments…I will read them and respond.

In the meanwhile, in the words of Tiny Tim, in “A Christmas Carol”, “God bless us! Every one!”

  1. Anonymous says:

    TCKs always have a special place in my heart, and I find that most I will relate to on a deeper level with little effort. So TCKs that I have known for a long time are sometimes more like family to me. Perhaps this is because I went to boarding school and so spent more time with other TCKs than with my family.
    I think that the more international experiences or even local experiences you share with your cousins will give you more a sense of connection. However, not everyone will connect in the same way. We may know someone for years but never really have a deep relationship with them. Yet someone else we may know them for only a few days but something within us will connect and its as if we have known them all our lives. You may find your cousins never connect in the same way with you as they have different expectations in relationships. However, that does not mean that you shouldn’t make an effort to befriend them or widen their global experiences. You can both benefit from the experience. You learn more about them and their experiences and expectations and vice versa. You will also find that TCKs often have a blinkered view of Non-TCKs and spending time with them will help you understand them better too. It goes both ways… Surely it is a culture clash between the TCK third culture and the non-TCK culture and after all, isn’t that what TCKs are good at? Resolving cultural issues?

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