I’ve heard it said, when speaking of the US, that there is no greater patriotism, than that of an immigrant. I’ve heard it said of Christians, that those who were forgiven many sins, love more than those who were forgiven few (see Luke 7:36-49). Perhaps it should be said of Rwandans that, some of the most fiercely passionate about this country, are those who’ve returned from the diaspora …read more
Johnny, this almost made me cry. I feel and read the pathos contained in your writing and relate to most of what you say. I get you. (The relationship stuff with girls I kind of glossed over as I am older and no longer in that angsty dating phase so challenging to us all at one time or another in our lifetime). There are days when I accept and almost feel a certain pride in being ‘different’, but mainly I get disheartened and sad when I realize a very very small percentage of people will ever understand or ‘get’ me and accept me. It’s very hard to integrate anywhere. I have given up to some degree. I live my life, remain true to myself, and if, along the way, someone likes me and shows genuine interest it feels like a bonus. I feel jaded. I am always the first to reach out, be compassionate, listen yet it often isn’t reciprocated…or if it is, the person x almost always gets that glazed expression sooner or later, not because I’m boring, no, quite the contrary: because my life experiences seem to colorful, too grandiose for them to take in and believe actually happened. Now I am babbling. The point to this is that I get you. I do. Self-acceptance is crucial in order to feel comfortable in one’s skin. The rest may or may not fall into place!